Bike blerg thread

No, no. This is a revolutionary development. Three patents were filed!

You see, the engineering department at RH made a breakthrough in Euclidean geometry and found a method to make a big circle have a larger radius than a small one! Bam. Patent filed.

They also didn’t just make a center slick, they made one where the knobs are attached to the center slick part. Obviously, no center slick ever did this before. Patent filed.

I am very close with some of the engineering folks at RH. I trust you guys, so let me fill you in on some of the other skunkworks patent-pending technology they’ve been working on:

  • charge more for your tires so you make more profit
  • remove the comments from your posts so people can’t call you out on your bullshit
  • make a tire casing that doesn’t seep sealant all over the place (they still haven’t solved this one yet)
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I am really surprised they don’t use ramped knobs. So much opportunity to talk about rolling speed, braking vs. climbing traction, how can Jan pass it up?

And they could call them “contrefort” (french name for buttress supporting a wall) knobs and of course patent them because cool french word and no one has thought of these before.

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cannot believe patents were filed for three common features of tires, is the USPTO asleep at the helm or something? (I guess it says filed not granted?)

“filed” probably means “the patent attorney cashed the check”

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doesn’t matter, patent pending baby!

speaking of which, my patent on the internal combustion engine is pending

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Yeah Im pretty sure Ive seen a post of his where he bags centre-ridge tires.

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hmm when i looks up reen hers on instagram all i see is “ope this doesnt exist” but i know it does. explain that why dont ya.

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I heard he retconned the posts about that. But I’m too lazy to go look.

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Did he remove the one about bald tires and rally cars too? Or why only supple is fast? Probably.

I’d never heard that word before!

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Jan hasn’t ever really talked about rubber compounds… right? It’s always felt like an interesting omission in his schtick about tires.

I’m tired of dragging Jan
If he would just shut up about his dubious science and stop being so vain he could probably keep the comments on.

On another hand I’m tired of whiny complainy cycling enthusiasts, seriously bike nerds are the fugn worst.

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Sir, this is tarck.

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People whingeing incessantly about shit might just be human nature at its core. Like there are some monks in a mountain monastery, somewhere meditating all the time wanting for nothing… Recognizing that they are part of the infinite whole and still arguing about like the fucking grain of the rock that their shit is carved into or something.

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Yeah well maybe your friend group doesn’t cross over into direct interaction with the guy much but mine does

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Understandable. We have a saying around here. There are two kinds of people in the world. Those who have been punched in the face, and those who have not. The former generally understand how badly the latter need to switch groups.

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this isn’t really the same but there is a native american tribe on the west side of Cayuga lake up here. i think there are like 40-60 people in this tribe. they own a sliver of land along a two lane road. the infighting and general bullshit that goes on in that community is terrible. they spend all their time and money fighting each other and destroying their own stuff. if they would just team up they could do stuff! but no! they just argue with each other.

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To be fair, concentration camps by design force people to fight over resources.

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I really can’t deal with an assault charge these days but fuck if I haven’t punched so many people in my mind before

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