Somebody else: Grizzled 50-something lady on a hybrid, full commuter gear, comes up on the right of a right-turning vehicle in the right lane, light is red, way is clear, car starts turning, old lady yells at the driver to “learn how to drive,” then proceed to nearly plow through half a dozen pedestrians as she rides up onto the sidewalk.
Me: Not much really.
“Get off the road,” “Fuck you!”
“Fucking faggot,” “Fuck you!”
“Nice BIKE,” “Thanks!”
yesterday i was making a left turn at an intersection, i had the green and a car was pulling out from dropping someone off, so he was pulling into my left turn i slow down, then his friend (whom the driver had just dropped off) was like stop. The guy stops and i just wave then go around him. Then at the next stoplight he was like sahre the road with cars, biker. i was like yeah good idea. Then he revvs his engine, so i ride aorund the back of him slap the quarter panel and the M5 lettering on his new 80k beamer, and speed off… i stay ahead of him for 4/5 lights which were in my favor, green… then i pull off to go to the thrift store i hear a ROARING engine go by me, then a siren perk up and follow. i giggled
I was tarckin’ down the avenue, like. And this big, bald Harley guy with a satan beard jumps in front of me and shouts “Bleedin’ pussy, Wot the fuck are you?”. So I gets off my bike, like. And I threatens him. And he unzips his chaps to give me the ol’ gay-rape, like.
But, I’s not gay (though there’s some gays in my village so I’m surprised I didn’t recognize this one) So I showed him one, and I did a mad jump in the air and raped him meself! I rode him like a pony up a hill and made him scream “I’m yer little pony, I’m yer little pony. I take you to the fair!” And it sounded like he wanted to cry so I lets him off, like.
That showed him!
user
God damnit, i need to sig that but it’s too big.
Damn you user, I was going to share a real story but you fucked it up with your incredible badassery.
My new thing is: When I get cut off by dickwads in cars I catch up to them and tarckstand in front of them until they get really pissed then I yell, “Can you see me now, fuckhead?”
i dunno, i don’t really get too pissed at drivers anymore. shit happens too often, and i don’t have the energy or the time to let it upset me too much. if something particularly heinous goes down i’ll give them a slap on the hood and a WTF? look at the next light, but nothing more than that.
these days when people yell stuff at me i like to come up with fun responses.
A*HOLE: get a car!
ME: get a moustache!
*: go lance!
ME: go dale!
&etc
coming down a busy 4 lane road with parked cars on the left (in Aus, keep in mind) my gf and i were in the bike lane, but hugging the traffic side to avoid doors and this bus buzzes past me pretty closely and then even closer to my girl, close enough for the draft to pull her even closer to the bus. she holds her line and the bus passes. she looks back like “holy fuck” and i’m already sprinting to catch the fucking thing. he pulls over like 100m ahead to pick up passengers and i grab his window and start screaming my face of at this fucker. he’s got no idea what he did and opens his window. so while passengers are boarding i’m latched on to his window telling this guy he nearly killed my girlfriend (in murderkill mode) and he’s like, “well, you were too close to the line, its your own fault.” it took so much effort not to reach in and knock this guys teeth out. then he tells me that if don’t leave he’s gonna call the cops. fuck that guy, just thinking about it makes me mad.
ps. i may have already posted this story. fucking buses.
I can not even begin to fathom a world with bike lanes.
just imagine a road with a door lane for parked cars.
[quote=“gerund”]My friend Jon has started keeping a length of pipe tied to his bike because one of his friends was attacked with a vehicle.
[/quote] I hope it is Carbon Fiber
Might as well be a bus lane. Here, they pull in and out of it without any regard for bicycles that might be in it.
[quote=“Quinn8it”][quote=“gerund”]My friend Jon has started keeping a length of pipe tied to his bike because one of his friends was attacked with a vehicle.
[/quote] I hope it is Carbon Fiber[/quote]
Epic splinters to the face.
Reminds me, some guy shouted at me at the beginning of the summer, “IS DAT FULL CARBON???”
Caught me off guard to hear a question like that so I didn’t really answer. How often does another cyclist give you the shout out?
One time, in Boston, making a mad rush in heavy rain from Harvard to South Station (catching the late commuter rail), some bros in a Lexus yelled “NICE PINK HELMET FAGGOT”, which I found ironic on so many levels. I was wearing a skirt too so idk what their perception of me was.
I just brush off stuff, though I sometimes make myself nonverbally present in a driver’s vision to remind them to look out.
Cute!!!
Do a trackstand next to a schoolbus. Kids love it.
people rarely bother me. i had one person honk but other than that nothing. i have had people almost hit me. nowaday when i’m approching an intersection and i see someone pull up i look them right in their eye, it catches their attention and they don’t run me over. it’s weird but people notice you when look at them right in the eye
i wouldn’t count on that.
One time I was riding home next to a cheesebus full of HS girls and they stuck up signs to the window reading “You make me horny!”. I had aviators on so I guess that made me “hot”. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing and jsut let them hear me laugh and they all freaked out.
I have tons of driver idiocy stories.
Latest one: Around 4:30pm, Red light a head, im on the left of a no bike lane street with blockade construction crap to my left and this NJ Airport taxi guy comes from behind (there was no way he couldnt see me) and proceeds to move over left about to force me into scaffolding and wood and barriers and shit. So I have to skid and go around his right side.
Mind you, it’s a red light with a car in front of him.
I go up to his passenger side and am yelling thorugh his closed window “Why the fuck did you do that? You fucking cut me off and almost hit me!”. He finally rolled his window down after me repeating that 3 times and as I’m telling him off he has to the FUCKING NERVE to turn to his passenger in the back and tell her “He’s crazy, he’s just crazy”. So I really blew up at that point. I scream and say this while banging his door with my fist, “No motherfucker, I’m not crazy you’re a fucking asshole for cutting me off! Where the fuck are you rushing to? It’s a red fucking light you fucking cunt piece of shit! I hope you get into a fucking car accident on your way back to shitty fucking New Jersey. None of you motherfuckers know how to drive.You’re a fucking piece of shit! FUCK YOU”.
As I rode off I pushed his mirror forward and might have cracked the plastic, I don’t really care. A traffic cop at the light saw the whole thing and gave me what looked like a kind of a grin and a nod. The TC’s here really hate NJ drivers and are always going off on them the most.
I felt kinda bad for blowing up while he had the lady in the back, but he really was just a total douchebag and I have no tolerance for that shit. I normally don’t go off like that, ever, but sometimes I think it really is good to. I felt really good and relieved after all that. I went and had a coffee, 2 reeses cups, did one last simple job and went home.
it’s not full proof but i usually slow down at major intersections
it’s just that i have heard a lot of times from motorcyclists that they swear they looked right into a drivers eyes just before the car pulled out in front of them. you think you’re making eye contact, they might be looking right past you or through you or whatever dumb shit drivers do right before they kill a cyclist.
true. i usually stare them down after they notice me and slam on their brakes