# Executive Assistant Jackass of the Day
**URL:** https://tarck.cc/t/executive-assistant-jackass-of-the-day/19676
**Category:** Bikes
**Created:** [April 5, 2012, 10:38pm UTC](https://tarck.cc/t/executive-assistant-jackass-of-the-day/19676 "2012-04-05T22:38:04Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@GrandmaJordan](https://tarck.cc/u/GrandmaJordan)
#### Post date: [April 5, 2012, 10:38pm UTC](https://tarck.cc/t/executive-assistant-jackass-of-the-day/19676/1 "2012-04-05T22:38:04Z")
[http://sfappeal.com/news/2012/04/das-office-looking-into-online-comments-allegedly-by-cyclist-from-fatal-collision-with-pedestrian.php](http://sfappeal.com/news/2012/04/das-office-looking-into-online-comments-allegedly-by-cyclist-from-fatal-collision-with-pedestrian.php)
1. If you hit and seriously injure someone on your bike, don’t post details on the internet. Get a lawyer instead.
2. If you hit and seriously injure someone on your bike, the moral of the story is not that you should wear a helmet.
---
### Author:  [@Larry\_Winget](https://tarck.cc/u/Larry_Winget)
#### Post date: [April 5, 2012, 11:03pm UTC](https://tarck.cc/t/executive-assistant-jackass-of-the-day/19676/2 "2012-04-05T23:03:08Z")
GIS for “Chris Bucchere bike”
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### Author:  [@Larry\_Winget](https://tarck.cc/u/Larry_Winget)
#### Post date: [April 5, 2012, 11:14pm UTC](https://tarck.cc/t/executive-assistant-jackass-of-the-day/19676/3 "2012-04-05T23:14:29Z")
cantstopwouldnwanttoanyways
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### Author:  [@Dickason\_Daniel](https://tarck.cc/u/Dickason_Daniel)
#### Post date: [April 6, 2012, 12:29am UTC](https://tarck.cc/t/executive-assistant-jackass-of-the-day/19676/4 "2012-04-06T00:29:07Z")
[quote=tarckeemoon]GIS for “Chris Bucchere bike”
[/quote]
well he had a fucking horn, apparently.
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### Author:  [@cookietruck](https://tarck.cc/u/cookietruck)
#### Post date: [April 6, 2012, 3:02pm UTC](https://tarck.cc/t/executive-assistant-jackass-of-the-day/19676/5 "2012-04-06T15:02:24Z")
damn
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### Author:  [@anomaly](https://tarck.cc/u/anomaly)
#### Post date: [April 6, 2012, 3:11pm UTC](https://tarck.cc/t/executive-assistant-jackass-of-the-day/19676/6 "2012-04-06T15:11:36Z")
Looks like he belongs to the cycling club I used to belong to. His post on the google group…
Dear Missionistas / Raiders of the Morning, Famiglia and Amigos,
```
I wrecked on the way home today from the bi-weekly Headlands Raid today. Short story: I'm fine. The pedestrian I clobbered? Not so much.
Long(er) story:
Around 8am I was descending Divisidero Street southbound and about to cross Market Street. The light turned yellow as I was approaching the intersection, but I was already way too committed to stop. The light turned red as I was cruising through the middle of the intersection and then, almost instantly, the southern crosswalk on Market and Castro filled up with people coming from both directions. The intersection very long and the width of Castro Street at that point is very short, so, in a nutshell, blammo.
The quote/unquote "scene of the crime" was that intersection right by the landmark Castro Theatre -- it leads from a really busy MUNI station to that little plaza where The Naked Guy always hangs out. It was commuter hour and it was crowded as all getup. I couldn't see a line through the crowd and I couldn't stop, so I laid it down and just plowed through the crowded crosswalk in the least-populated place I could find.
I don't remember the next five minutes but when I came to, I was in a neck brace being loaded into an ambulance. I remember seeing a RIVER of blood on the asphalt, but it wasn't mine. Apparently I hit a 71-year old male pedestrian and he ended up in the ICU with pretty serious head injuries. I really hope he ends up OK.
They asked me a bunch of stupid easy questions that I couldn't answer, so they kept me for a few hours for observation, gave me a tetanus shot and sent me on my way.
Anyway, other than a stiff neck, a sore jaw/TMJ, a few bruises and some raspberries, I'm totally fine. I got discharged from the hospital durning the lunch hour. The guy I hit was not as fortunate. I really hope he makes it.
The cops took my bike. Hopefully they'll give it back.
In closing, I want to dedicate this story to my late helmet. She died in heroic fashion today as my head slammed into the tarmac. Like the Secret Service would do for a president, she took some serious pavement today, cracking through-and-through in five places and getting completely mauled by the ragged asphalt. May she die knowing that because she committed the ultimate sacrifice, her rider can live on and ride on. Can I get an amen?
Amen.
The moral of this little story is: WYFH
```
Hoping you’ll all keep the rubber side down,
Chris
---
### Author:  [@GrandmaJordan](https://tarck.cc/u/GrandmaJordan)
#### Post date: [April 6, 2012, 3:30pm UTC](https://tarck.cc/t/executive-assistant-jackass-of-the-day/19676/7 "2012-04-06T15:30:44Z")
UGH.
Anyone who lives and/or rides in SF knows that the intersection he’s talking about is one of the busiest pedestrian intersections in the city. It’s right next to a muni station, and the last stop on the tram line, and is in the very popular Castro neighborhood, which is generally pretty bustling at all hours. Dude says the cross walk “suddenly filled up” like it was a surprise to him, but I can’t believe anyone who lives here would be surprised by that. Maybe I’m in the minority, but if I’m coming down a big hill and I know there’s a busy and long intersection at the bottom, even if it’s not one I know is going to be rapidly filled with pedestrians as soon as the light changes, (particularly if it has a timed walk signal like the lights at this intersection do - it cannot have been a surprise that the light was about to change), I slow down so that I CAN stop. It sounds like the guy was being really irresponsible and ended up killing someone, and that really sucks.
Even so, I hope he smartens up and keeps his mouth shut from here on in, for his own sake.
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### Author:  [@white\_folks](https://tarck.cc/u/white_folks)
#### Post date: [April 6, 2012, 3:38pm UTC](https://tarck.cc/t/executive-assistant-jackass-of-the-day/19676/8 "2012-04-06T15:38:46Z")
jesus. what a fucking comedown.
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### Author:  [@jr1](https://tarck.cc/u/jr1)
#### Post date: [April 6, 2012, 3:44pm UTC](https://tarck.cc/t/executive-assistant-jackass-of-the-day/19676/9 "2012-04-06T15:44:03Z")
“I was already way too committed to stop”
What the fuck does that mean
“I was already way too committed to the image and “lifestyle” and fake danger that complete dipshits still associate with brakeless fixed gears to stop, so I killed an elderly man”?
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### Author:  [@NoahGenda](https://tarck.cc/u/NoahGenda)
#### Post date: [April 6, 2012, 3:53pm UTC](https://tarck.cc/t/executive-assistant-jackass-of-the-day/19676/10 "2012-04-06T15:53:26Z")
[http://missioncycling.org/blog/2012/4/5/regarding\_the\_tragic\_accident\_of\_march\_29th](http://missioncycling.org/blog/2012/4/5/regarding_the_tragic_accident_of_march_29th)
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### Author:  [@cookietruck](https://tarck.cc/u/cookietruck)
#### Post date: [April 6, 2012, 3:57pm UTC](https://tarck.cc/t/executive-assistant-jackass-of-the-day/19676/11 "2012-04-06T15:57:16Z")
nobr akes
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### Author:  [@cookietruck](https://tarck.cc/u/cookietruck)
#### Post date: [April 6, 2012, 3:59pm UTC](https://tarck.cc/t/executive-assistant-jackass-of-the-day/19676/12 "2012-04-06T15:59:40Z")
also
really fuckin sad
what a dingdong
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### Author:  [@NoahGenda](https://tarck.cc/u/NoahGenda)
#### Post date: [April 6, 2012, 4:06pm UTC](https://tarck.cc/t/executive-assistant-jackass-of-the-day/19676/13 "2012-04-06T16:06:44Z")
Thing that gets me is “Moral of the story if WearYourFuckingHelmet”
Instead of “Moral of the story is I really hope I didnt KILL anyone because i am an idiot.”
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### Author:  [@Andrew\_Andeson](https://tarck.cc/u/Andrew_Andeson)
#### Post date: [April 6, 2012, 4:10pm UTC](https://tarck.cc/t/executive-assistant-jackass-of-the-day/19676/14 "2012-04-06T16:10:28Z")
[quote=jordanpattern]
Even so, I hope he smartens up and keeps his mouth shut from here on in, for his own sake.[/quote]
i hope they throw the book at this dipshit
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### Author:  [@anomaly](https://tarck.cc/u/anomaly)
#### Post date: [April 6, 2012, 4:52pm UTC](https://tarck.cc/t/executive-assistant-jackass-of-the-day/19676/15 "2012-04-06T16:52:15Z")
Dylan (Mission Cycling head) better lawyer up.
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### Author:  [@hambeki](https://tarck.cc/u/hambeki)
#### Post date: [April 6, 2012, 5:02pm UTC](https://tarck.cc/t/executive-assistant-jackass-of-the-day/19676/16 "2012-04-06T17:02:36Z")
Yeah it’s pretty unfortunate that the shop got pulled into this when they had nothing to do with it at all.
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### Author:  [@Larry\_Winget](https://tarck.cc/u/Larry_Winget)
#### Post date: [April 6, 2012, 5:21pm UTC](https://tarck.cc/t/executive-assistant-jackass-of-the-day/19676/17 "2012-04-06T17:21:13Z")
> [@roy](#):
>
> Yeah it’s pretty unfortunate that the shop got pulled into this when they had nothing to do with it at all.
Seriously.
Brakeless fixie or not this guy exercised extremely poor judgement.
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### Author:  [@white\_folks](https://tarck.cc/u/white_folks)
#### Post date: [April 6, 2012, 5:30pm UTC](https://tarck.cc/t/executive-assistant-jackass-of-the-day/19676/18 "2012-04-06T17:30:16Z")
spent most of the RGR with the mission cycling guys. solid dudes and strong riders.
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### Author:  [@oogens](https://tarck.cc/u/oogens)
#### Post date: [April 6, 2012, 6:18pm UTC](https://tarck.cc/t/executive-assistant-jackass-of-the-day/19676/19 "2012-04-06T18:18:05Z")
good thing he wrote an obituary for his helmet, it would have been a shame to not recognize the real loss in this accident
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### Author:  [@JUGE\_FREDD](https://tarck.cc/u/JUGE_FREDD)
#### Post date: [April 6, 2012, 11:51pm UTC](https://tarck.cc/t/executive-assistant-jackass-of-the-day/19676/20 "2012-04-06T23:51:36Z")
another day, another jackass:
> **[Another Expert Cyclist Hit by Car on Fahy Bridge](http://bethlehempolice.blogspot.com/2012/04/another-expert-cyclist-hit-by-car-on.html)**
>
> Official blog: City of Bethlehem Police Department sharing info, wanted persons, crime alerts, events, etc. with the Lehigh Valley.
> **[PRESS RELEASE: City Honors Two Citizens for Exceptional Service to Their...](http://bethlehempolice.blogspot.com/2012/04/press-release-city-honors-two-citizens.html)**
>
> Official blog: City of Bethlehem Police Department sharing info, wanted persons, crime alerts, events, etc. with the Lehigh Valley.
really fortuitous that the camera was rotated the right ways at the right times, and that the other drivers around the jackass were angels (and a cop!)
solid work by the police in general too, they made some great replies to people commenting on their second blog post
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