Executive Assistant Jackass of the Day


#4741

It was similar to this
https://bikeportland.org/2016/10/29/collision-on-st-johns-bridge-kills-bicycle-rider-194427

Except I didn’t die this time


#4742

That isn’t possible, right?


#4743

[quote=Andrew_Squirrel]http://komonews.com/news/local/man-hit-on-head-with-pipe-then-bike-stolen-in-ballard

That isn’t possible, right?[/quote]

Sure it is. Double chainring and a 19 speed cassette.


#4744

Broken Rohloff and some other stuff


#4745

1st woman: 5 feet 5 inches tall and weighs 350 pounds.
2nd woman: wearing pajamas.
Guy: hangs around with a length of pipe.
… and they stop you to ask about your brown Kona. I wonder how this could have ended well.


#4746

Who coulda guessed it!?


#4747

Guess it’s spring, MUP is a shitshow again.

Today some lady said “Go to hell!” to me when I rang my bell at her. I stopped and asked her why she’d say such a thing, and she 1) lied and said she never said that, 2) said that I was going way too fast because there were kids around (the closest kid was legit 500ft away).

I was going a cool 13mph.


#4748

I love stopping and kindly confronting people, hearing them out and having a real conversation (when I have the time).
I was approaching an older gentleman with one of those super long extendo dog leashes last week. He was taking up the whole trail which is expected because its not a very busy trail. I slowed way down to a crawl rang my bell twice. No response, rung it a third time not very far away still no response. Much louder I announced that I was coming around and he jumped a little then immediately asked me to use my bell and to watch out for the dog because its mean. I said “Sir, I rung my bell many times approaching you, sounds like you might not have hear it”. Then he got all grumpy (maybe because he realized his hearing was degrading) and I asked him to please keep his dog close with the leash at a manageable length while using the trail. Then he went on about “the dog is gunna do what the dog is gunna do…”
I was like “sir, it your responsibility to make sure you dog doesn’t do what you don’t want it to do. If you want to let the dog roam there are plenty of wide swaths of grass along the route to do this but on the trail you need to be cognizant of other users.”
“grumble, grumble, use your bell next time”
:colbert:


#4749

Squirrel, remember the time some lady yelled at us for not ringing our bells even though I rang mine like five times?


#4750
  1. Dogs - in Oregon a dog on a leash further than 12’ away is illegal. Might be different in WA

[quote=kmcdon]
Today some lady said “Go to hell!” to me when I rang my bell at her.[/quote]

Fuck yeah
\m/ \m/


#4751

I was out with my kid on the wee-hoo one fine day. Rolling down the shared path, old man with an unleashed dog was wandering along, right next to the “please leash your dog” sign. I rang my bell 4 or 5 times, dog stops and looks, old man keeps wandering along. I slow right down and roll past him, he gives me a serve about “ring your bell and slow down!” I responded with “I rang my bell, and leash your dog!”

You can’t win with grumpy people.


#4752

Yeah I gain no enjoyment from confronting people like that, kindly or otherwise. The interaction never provides me with the satisfaction that I’d like, partly because their unlikely change in behavior will probably never affect me. A 12’ leash is more than enough to fuck people up


#4753

Wow, all these stories… I guess I’ll stop feeling bad for scaring the shit out of people with my loud ass bell.


#4754

Weather is good again. All the fucking idiots are back on bikes and guess what??? THEY’RE ALL RIDING WITH FUCKING EARBUDS IN AND CANT HEAR SHIT.


#4755

Had one of those yesterday, but replace cyclist with dogwalker. It was on a cutty singletrack area that I commute through, and I was on the dayruiner. Rang the spurcycle no less than 8 times, “hi, hi, hi, excuse me, on your left, hello”… nothing.

So I just blasted around him in the grass, dog freaked out, he probably thinks all bikers are assholes now.


#4756

i commute with earbuds and i’ve never not been able to hear someones bell. how fucking loud do these people listen to music?

also i’ve found, in general, most peoples dogs react as good or better to the bell than their humans.


#4757

I have taken to just wailing on my crane bell when I’m riding around Austin. I like to think drivers hear it but I doubt they give a shit


#4758

[quote=aerobear]

also i’ve found, in general, most peoples dogs react as good or better to the bell than their humans.[/quote]

Yep, gimme a doggo over a human anyday.

I had a great one on a shared path the other day. Coming up behind a dad and two kids, rang the bell, slowed down and moved off the path, in anticipation of the “stop, turnaround, take a step into path of cyclist” move that most people seem to do. Instead, the dad did the right thing and stepped aside, but the little boy just fell on his arse in the middle of the path. Nearly pissed myself laughing.


#4759

[quote=aerobear]i commute with earbuds and i’ve never not been able to hear someones bell. how fucking loud do these people listen to music?
[/quote]
+1


#4760

My escalation path is:
Coasting ratchet noise (woke path sharers move)
Friendly “on your left” (most people move)
ding ding ding.gif (most dog owners move)
Squeaky dicks and “Hi excuse me thanks” (families and chatty abreast walkers scatter into the way)
“Whooaaahhhh” collision avoidance sound