"If you’re looking to hop on the fixie hipster movement, that ship has already sailed, and the infamous PISTA DEX is at an all time low never to recover.

Fixies are the AIDS of the cycling world"

But what other hipster conveyance maximizes irony and impracticality as effectively as the brakeless colorway-coordinated tarck bike does!? He will still rcertainly fetch substantial alt pussy with his deep v fashion-way regardless of the state of the C.I.M.U. (Chico Irony Maximization Union)! His entry level alt-ness must be reified by a conveyance of appropriate irony. The most likely candidate for the next alternative ironic hipster conveyance that I would like to nominate is none other than the skate bike, pictured here in the respective blue and red colorways:

I am aware that one of these conveyances “dropped” on craigslist not long ago and eventually sold to one hipster brave enough to schluff this incredible “whip” to school–I have seen it myself! This area hipster was duly equipped with ironic 90’s neon colorway cycling sunglasses and a rat tail he must have been cultivating for years just to complete this hype look! Unfortunately for this hipster, the skate bike is vaguely intended for the street and it has a brake–the P.P.M.B.L. (Penile Parallel Mounted Brake Lever)–so I remain unimpressed with its ironic value.


Who is this? I assume one of you all on account of saying “tarck” or has it become pop culture now?

This Craigslist poster needs to get off Bike Snob’s dick for five minutes.

dude i remember when mtv sold those things. called it “the reflex” or some shit.

these things are so hard to ride

just scroll and look this shit is ridiculous