Jens does not feel pain. Pain feels Jens.

he deserves his own thread

Jens no longer has a shadow because he dropped it repeatedly until it climbed into the Saxo Bank team car claiming a stomach ailment and retired

Jens once challenged Lance Armstrong to see who had more testicles. Jens won by 5

Jens Voigt doesn’t get road rash, the road gets Jens Rash

Jens Voigt eats steak before every single ride. Most times he forgets to kill the cow

If by some incredible space-time paradox Jens could ever race himself, he would win

It is fact that the air within 30cm of Jens’ body remains at a constant 18 degrees C

Jens Voigt can touch MC Hammer

Jens once had a heart attack on the Tourmalet. Jens counterattacked repeatedly and beat the mountain into submission.

SaxoBank mechanics removed the brake calipers from all of Jens Voigt’s bikes when it was discovered that nothing can slow him down

Jens Voigt puts the “laughter” in “Manslaughter.”

Jens Voigt climbs so well for a big guy because he doesn’t actually climb hills; the hills slink into the earth in fear as they see him approach.

Jens was a math prodigy in elementary school, putting “Attack!” in every blank space on all his tests. It would be the wrong answer for everybody else, but Jens is able to solve any problem by attacking.

Eddy Merckx was actually a neo-pro at the same time as Jens, but Jens dropped him so hard that he shot backwards in time to the 1960′s, where he became a great champion.

If Jens Voigt was a planet, he’d be the World of Hurt.

The first time man split the atom was when the atom tried to hold Jens Voigt’s wheel, but cracked.

Jens Voigt doesn’t complain about what suffering does to him… but suffering constantly complains about getting picked on by Jens Voigt.

Jens Voigt rides so fast during attacks, that he could circle the globe, hold his own wheel, and ride in his own draft. At least as long as he didn’t try to drop himself.

Jens Voigt nullified the periodic table because he doesn’t believe in any element, other than the element of surprise.

The grass is always greener on the other side. Unless Jens Voigt has been riding on the other side in which case it’s white with the salty, dried tears of all the riders whose souls he has crushed.

Jens’ legs are hairless because hair can’t grow on steel.

“don’t say Jens Fuck”…“it always sounds like that when you danish people talk”

“i get paid to hurt other people, how good is that! I get paid to make other people suffer on my wheel, that’s good”

thought this thread was about

Jens crew signing in

I love that guy so much

I would seriously go gay for Jens

This thread is relevant to my interests. Cancellara, the Schlecks, and Jens all on one team :slight_smile:

Pain feeling Jens right thar:

In the world of pro cycling, Jens is a comforting and inspiring figure.
His big ring is a 56, and his cassette is 11-11-11-11-11-11-11-11-11-11-12.

[quote=halbritt]Pain feeling Jens right thar:


The spot in the road where he crashed is sitting there going

fav athlete

I lol’d

if any of you lot know how to use a proxy and can understand german, i highly suggest watching the tour streaming on they talk about jens all the time.

jens voigt fronts a crabcore band

The manimal (half-man, half-animal) was at work today again towing the schlecks back to the main field. So awesome.

That says so much.

My new desktop.

needs more blood atmo

Jens was an awesome element of today’s awesome stage. seeing him string out the peloton was a bit frightening.