Sorry for the delay in rando updates
Shit happens, I’m got a successful flèche to write about
I failed my second 600k this year
Late season ORR generally offers a “make up” 3/4/600. This years make up was variations on the 3 capes routes - if you rode the 300 you got this pretty sweet ACP metal (can’t find a pic but it’s cool).
6 riders:
4 for the 600
1 for the 400
1 for the 300
I thought I read correctly and start time was at 7 so I was there at 630, we’ll come to find out it started at 6. As I’m quietly cursing, finishing my coffee and dressing down the current RBA and lead pre rider are chatting me up. One of the Canadian riders had last come through in ~2016-2017 and was like “RBA I thought the last time I came through you said you were going to retire!” And she said “yeah well after this season I’m handing it over to @LASER_BEIGE” so, there you have the news I couldnt tell you about months ago @Brendal_Crimpton @Emor_please @bward1028
So I’m a half hour + behind and I’m trying to get to the first lil hill. As soon as I make the turn I see the 400 rider - a retiree from California who trucks around in an rv when they’re not living in Palm Springs or San Jose. TAF approved s-works loaded with all kinds of bags. We rode together and I see an SIR rider, the two Canucks and we meet up with Bill A who just got a new thompson with all the modern stuff - 12s chorus, flat mount discs - oh it’s sweet. It’s like a sage green with a muted yellow lug lining. Maybe Corey posted photos to insta. Anyway, I’m complimenting his bike and I was like “don’t you have a sweet Ahearne as well?” “Yeah, geez you’ve got a good memory”
I descend from the first climb and make it out to the second climb - in short notice I pass the canucks - one of them is having a hard time of it. I get to the top and the faster of the two and I chat - I’d met this guy before, I recognized his bike (https://www.nakedbicycles.com/). Edit: this bike is on page 44 of AR volume 25. We chatted and he said his buddy was trying to get the 600 before cascade (june 24-28). He was going really slow and I was getting cold so I descended into tillamook.
The weather worked out - the last couple days there was an “atmospheric river” that dumped a whole lot of rain but when I got into tillamook the grey clouds melted away and it was patchy blue.
Northbound around km120 I got a flat. I pulled over and started to fix and some old lady stops and asks if I need a ride! No but thank you. I find a tire puncture but no glass or metal, there’s a hole in the tire and a pretty big gash. I figure I’ll probably be ok so I mount the tire. Hop-hop-hop-hop…I pull over and the bead isn’t set in one portion of the wheel causing a flat spot. I remove and try again. Hop hop hop. I try it a 3rd time. Same result. I’m burning daylight so I just go. This is not fun.
I get to the turn off for the loop into nehalem river valley and holy shit, I wasn’t going to take picture but look at this valley
Clouds pushed against the top of the hills and everywhere else blue skies.
Continuing on the loop I see the SIR rider headed the other way
“Uh oh did I go the wrong way?”
“Yeah maybe but it’s a loop so does it matter?”
“Probably not. Ride safe, I’m gonna catch you”
He was about ~5-10km ahead and I never caught him.
On the way out I see the s-works rider and wave, that’s the last I see of her.
Turnaround and I stop halfway to tillamook at a gas station to try to fix the tire again. I got it to go a little bit but it was still hopping. I’m now at about 50km of dick punch and this is not a good feeling. But I continue. Into tillamook and I stop for a classic veg burrito and to check phone messages. I txt my wife and tell her that this sucks.
I go over the Safeway where there is a line at the bottle return. There’s a mom and 2 young kids trying to return a cart full of cans. I say to the kids “hey, I’ll give you a dollar if you make sure nobody messes with my bike” I lock up and head inside for water and a banana. Back out I hand $2 to 1 of the kids as the other has gone off to play with the other kids running around. The mom tells me her cart full of Red Bull cans are from her friend. Things are tough all over.
When I die suggest to my wife to take me here and then for the wake go get ice cream together at the creamery.
Out to cape meares there are “roads closed” signs on the road I’m supposed to take. Y’all know me, I have a contentious relationship with authority and can hardly read so I progress. Nothing is different from when we rode over a month ago? Once you pass 3 signs and a logging/construction site you’re on a decommissioned, eroded road that heads out from the south entrance? That has no signs?
I get to the other side and descend down to the water
Jig jog down the coast, up and down until cape lookout. Descend past sand lake and up to pacific city. The 50km from tillamook to pac city took me 3 hours - mainly because I’m heavier than I want to be, climbing isn’t my strength and I’m getting punched in the dick at various intensities.
I’m pacific city I stop at the bougie market that used to have a hot case but has now been converted to fish sales. The lines are deep and everything is expensive so fuck that I’m going to the Heavy metal gas station. Last time we were in town the gas station was blasting Judas Priest and it really made it welcoming. This time it was some annoying tencho. Whatever. I grab a Gatorade and one of those cheese berry danishes and go outside. I call my FIL to see if he has any suggestions for the tire. I told him I thought maybe washing the bead because it’s kind of dry might work? And he said that I should use a detergent - go ask the station attendants for some handsoap. So, I took the tire off again and proceeded to go over the bead with hand soap and water. This worked about 80%. But the damage was already done
Punched in the dick for ~130k
Not riding with anyone
Way up in my own head
Hands hurt from adjusting my position
I leave the gas station and head up lil nestucca river road
Suns going down
Everything is beautiful
And I climb into grande ronde.
There is a sketchy/no shoulder bridge just past grande ronde and generally you take the first right and drop down an embankment to get off hwy18 and onto a quieter street. There is now a barbed wire fence but I still made it past. There’s a dude standing on the street twitching his fingers and I ask “you doing alright dude?” He doesn’t answer and kind of grumbles.
This road goes past an Rv trailer park that has grown significantly over the last 10 years. There are nice, new cars parked up next to run down rvs, the piles of trash that are ubiquitous with transient living spaces and tweakers. I’ve never seen it like this before - folks are out (and passed out) doing tweaker shit. I came upon a guy that looked like he was intending to break into a car that was left on the side of the road.
It’s now after 11 and all services we reportedly closed - except there was a minimart in willamina open. This was a minimart with a lot of drug paraphernalia. All kinds of shit. Well I got a Gatorade flavor I’d never had before and that was a mistake. Again, weirdos being weird.
From Sheridan through dayton and Lafayette (amity bridge was closed so took a reroute) it was pretty uneventful. After Lafayette onto abbey road it looks like the Trappist monks had paved their driveway so I figured this would be a nice, well lit, somewhat safe spot to take 5-10minutes to lay on my back. My ass hurts, my hands hurt, I just needed some time. I shut my eyes and could hear critters nearby and an owl screeching.
Rollers for the next ~30km and it’s now 330a. I’m on the last lil jig jogs and a minivan rolls up behind me and the passenger (child or young woman) screams out the window. Fuck. I’m done. They turn around and pass me the other way and I bolt. I’ve got my reserve energy that I save for an end-of-ride sprint and I don’t want to see what these yahoos do next so I go as fast as I can.
I get to the last stoplight FULLY INTENDING TO BLAST THROUGH and a cop rolls up. Plans thwarted but at least I’m not becoming a martyr by drunk kids.
21:59 ride time for a 400 I completed with a group of 3 at 20:37 just a month ago. I hate riding alone.
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