The ‘fail’ thread reminded me of a similar thread over at BF in the days of yore that I really enjoyed. So, Lets hear about your painful/hilarious wipeouts!
My worst wreck to date was at the beging of this summer after my girlfriend and I spent the better half of a day moving into my new apartment. We were going to take her car back to her place and make dinner there. I rode back, she drove. I was ahead of her most of the way back until I went to make a very sharp left at 25+ mph.
The pedal strike was so bad that it forced me into a summersault of sorts. I never left the bike and was on my way to completing an awesome front flip until my face interfered. I hit my head so hard that everything went white (those of you that have had this happen know what Im talking about). On top of that my girlfriend was right behind me, so close that I could hear her scream when I went down. The two of us walked back to her place to check the damage. I was bleeding from so many different areas of my body that it was impossible for me to tell what side of my body had hit first. My face was dripping like crazy and my left hand had doubled in size. I still cannot remember a time when I have been in so much pain. After closer inspection by my girlfriend, (who happens to be in school for nursing) and shaving of my beard, a gash that was about and inch long and nearly bone deep was revealed. I had a huge chunk of my chin falling off my jaw bone. I saw that in the mirror I nearly passed out and almost started to panic. I seriously thought I was going to be disfigured.
Many, many butterfly bandages, half a bottle of 90% alcohol, and a gravel picking session later it was time for dinner at last. We finally met up with our friends, one of which was an EMT. He checked out my giant, purple hand and, sure nuff, broken… Hair-line fracture.
The worst part of all this was of course not being able to ride for 3 weeks. I healed up fine. I have a pretty gnarly scar on my jaw line and my hand still hurts from time to time though.
bones heal and chicks dig scars. My worst was, as a shorty, I turned into an alley and head-firsted a car. My front wheel went under the bumper and I flew through their windsheild. I was barely scratched and my wheel was fine though. The most embarrassing was when I tried to squeak between a cab and a fat girl. She changed direction and a buried my handlebars in her ass. Fell. Bunch of tarck cool kids I didn’t know laughed at me.
A few months ago some girl asked me to go get a few drinks at a bar about 4 miles away. I turned her down at first and then changed my mind since there was nothing better to do.
I was on my way there at a pretty good clip and one of my laces came unlaced. I felt it as soon as one of the laces wrapped around the pedal spindle of my right side pedal. In the 3-4 seconds that my life was flashing before my eyes I decided to try and skid to stop the lace from getting tight and tossing me into the car to the right of me. While trying to skid I thought it would be a good Idea to brake as well. I grabbed way too much front brake and went flying over the bars. My feet were strapped in and my lace was quickly tightening onto my crank arm. I landed on my right shoulder/face/back and continued to front flip once more hitting all the same spots all over again.
After all was said and done I was laying on my back with my bike attached to both feet. I went to push myself up with my right arm and about died of pain. It took me about 30 seconds to realize that my collarbone was broken and I couldn’t push myself up with that arm. So there I was laying in the middle of the street trying to unclip my straps with my left arm. I ended up dragging myself to the curb with my good arm. Got back on my bike which was totally fine because it landed on me not the road… and continued to ride to the bar. Got there with my arm tucked under the strap of my bag, put down 5 beers asap and continued on to the hospital for xrays.
Best part was I got to drink for free. Riding with your arm tucked into your bag strap like a sling is goofy.
Most embarrassing spill, I have done this several times. It is the slow-tip while trackstanding at a light. I generally lay on the ground and laugh a bit before getting up and realize cars are honking at me bc I am lying in the street.
This spring, in Amsterdam, I went face first through a guys rear window then beat him up and went to jail. It still brings a very large smile to my face every time I think about it. Not really my worst or most embarrassing though… Worst was a 25 mph/pouring rain/downhill/stuck in trolly tracks affair. Fuck, that sucked so bad.
[quote=“NitroPye”]I don’t get it but chicks do dig the scars.
I busted up my knee in the trail awhiles back and the gf is always poking it and saying how much she likes that scar.[/quote]
Yea chicks dig scars to a point. I was blessed when I got in my car wreck that I didn’t rip my face off. But generally the ladies do dig the scar on my cheek, the 2 on my forehead(seperate accidents) and the dent in my skull.
They go well with my manly 'stache.
My most hilarious occurred when my room-ate and I were heading to the coffee shop (dig it) and I decided it would be a good idea to ‘skitch’ on him. I reached for his seat and my front wheel tangled in his track ends. Ate it hard into some grass. I was laughing so hard he thought I was crying. Somehow I managed to get blood all over my top tube. Way tarck.
i tore my groin muscle when i hit some black ice last winter. it was right after i had spent the night before cleaning my bike, getting her all nice and greased up and clean. bitch deceived me! now the dirty whore never gets cleaned and i havent had a crash since
When I was a nub at riding in traffic a while back, I was riding up a hill and going slow and not taking the lane. I was riding on the right shoulder and this guy in a car comes up to make a right and basically runs me down. I fly on top of his hood and the lady in the car screams and then I fall on to the ground. All the kids that were going to school that morning who were hanging around this street corner started pointing in laughing at me (not exaggerating, they actually pointed and laughed), and the dude who hit me was pretty freaked. I couldn’t help but laugh at myself, though.
My worst spill was pretty tame compared to most of yours.
I was booking it past a bunch of gridlocked cars, trying to get to my house, grab some beers & weed and make it to an alleycat when some jackass suddenly turns left thru the line of cars, cutting me off and barely escaping getting slammed by the car to my left. I tried to turn hard right but it wasn’t enough and my front wheel got caught between his front fender and wheel. Of course I went over the hood and landed on my shoulder and side. When I looked up there was 3000 pounds of ford f-150 screeching to a halt. My bike wasn’t in that bad of shape, and the guy’s insurance paid for all the damage.
I wish I could say I was super tarck and made it to the alleycat and placed first, but I just walked the 3 blocks home and guzzled my 6 pack and smoked a blunt.
I have yet to fall on my tarck bike. but I’m sure it’ll happen one day.
my buddy thought it would be funny to post this of me like 2years ago on youtube, so everyone gets to see my failure.
watch the foot in the slow-mo, I had a long painful drive to the hospital after that.
sprinting through a yellow light. chain snaps. i almost executed a perfect front flip but my shoulder and head got in the way…
i remember being dragged out of the street and not being able to move my arms or legs and trying to yell at the guy that was dragging my bike out of the intersection by its front wheel for being a jackass. then i remember the medics talking to me, at this point i could move my arms but not my legs. i still have no idea how or why but i talked them into letting me ride to the hospital on my bike instead of in the ambulance. i changed my mind when i realized my chain was gone and just walked the half mile home instead. once i got home i realized that my shirt was also missing… i almost never bruise but my shoulder was black and blue for over a week and i had some sweet road rash on my shoulder, forearm and hip. i always wear a helmet when i ride now.
Five days before I moved to Egypt I was riding no hands when a strong breeze got me. Damn wind. I went over the handlebars and rolled a couple times. Separated my left shoulder, dislocated my right shoulder (had to pop it back into place before I could pick my bike up and get out of the intersection), chipped my left hip, smashed the crap out of my left quad. Had to move to Egypt with a severe limp and a sling on my left arm.
ive laid down my '66 schwinn typhoon (20" set up like a stingray) at least 3 times doing stupid stuff on it. once it was in the rain at the entrance of a parking garage on campus right before school. that could have been way worse. i got to class and missed a quiz and asked if i could still take it. the prof was hesitating and i was like “uh… can you not see my palms and elbows?”
on the fixed ive just fallen over while trackstanding clipless then one time it was raining and i felt like seeing how slick the ground was in a banked parking lot covered with glossy asphalt so i locked it up and promptly went down.