A safe space to complain about jackass humans

I used to see a guy in my old neighborhood in Oakland who rode one of those with a trailer attached. Obviously the trailer had a speaker playing edm and colored lights. And he had dreads. Obviously.

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A tale as old as time itself.

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The really passionate one wheel guys in Boston are awesome, always show up on big bike group rides and zoom to the front to cork every intersection as a pack, super chill, help drag people up big hills. The tech bros and college kids blasting down the sidewalk on them suck ass, but they’d suck ass on any form of transportation.

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As a rule, I’m in favor of any mode of transportation that gets people out of cars no matter how silly looking. Every one wheel bro is one less tricked out murder-jeep bro atmo

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I have to take a deep breath and remind myself of this.

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an old neighbor and now coworker broke his wrist on a one wheel. he’s at least 40 though.
my FIL talked up a mean storm about getting one and i had an absolute blast egging him on, knowing it would be the end of his carpentry career and that he would never actually get on one. all in all i’ve been pleased with my direct-adjacent experiences with onewheels

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If someone told me there was a “one wheel” festival in town, I would be VERY disappointed when it wasn’t a bunch of people on unicycles.

Also, I never knew the distinction between one wheels and mono wheels. Now I’ll have an easier time describing the jackasses who blast past me on the bike path. Based on the helmets and pads those mono wheel guys wear, they KNOW they’re going to ear shit eventually.

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one wheel is skateboard with big wheel in between, mono wheel is roller skates with big wheel in between.

also this reminds me i need to get a longer seatpost for my unicycle so i can ride it while my kid rides her bike

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This is the thing for me. I feel like the safety gear is necessary but would totally kill the vibe for me. I wore all the gear riding motorcycles but that’s such a pain in the ass in Texas that I barely ride anymore.

Certainly I’ve scraped myself up on bicycles but I still don’t feel compelled to get out the knee pads to ride to campus lol

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STILL DONT

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There’s a monowheel person in Seattle that I’ve seen recently who weaves between cars in traffic and has a baseball bat sticking out of their backpack. Also most of the time they’re in that dumb looking sitting position because I guess they’re not good enough to be an asshole while standing up.

Always reminds me of this

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Nah dude it’s an aero tuck.

Now THIS is the cyberpunk distopia I was promised!

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I’m sure that’s what they all tell themselves.

yeah that reminds me of Snow Crash, but like… just depressingly present day dystopian, not future dystopian

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Indeed. The Deliverator doesn’t drive a Prius but the guy who brought my ramen does.

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I’m at a coffee shop in the most annoying corner of Williamsburg Brooklyn and there are a bunch of bros yell-talking about the electric one wheel things. All in a broader convo about fin tech or whatever lol Jesus.

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ding ding ding

Onewheel: it’s a brand name. Skateboard with a wide go-cart wheel in the middle. They have vigorously defended their IP against chinese clones, which is why there hasn’t been a huge proliferation of other versions.

Monowheel: you’re standing on either side of a big/narrow wheel instead of fore-aft like on the Onewheel. I think these were originally a Segway thing but there are a lot of clones out there.

yeah the bros who commute around SF on them are kitted up/armored more seriously than any of the local motorcycle riders

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These are lame as fuck, just get a real skateboard or ride a bike. Not everything needs lithium batteries and a companion app or smart watch integration or whatever other dumb shit they use to sell this junk to tech nerds and other dorks.

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Or just get an OG monowheel.

image

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