Rest in peace Ben
Figure that it is worth cross posting this from facespace
[quote=Ellie Anna Bryan wrote a post that I think is important for us all to read at this time.]
- Ben knew he had a serious drinking problem and spoke with me about it many times. We cried together about it, and it was ultimately what led to the end of our relationship. He was trying his best, but in the end it was too hard for him to open up enough to seek help without also feeling like he was a disappointment to those who cared about him. He told me on many occasions that it was getting harder and harder to live up to the expectations that many held of him as being the life of every party, and he did not want to be known as Wizard Staff Ben anymore. I realize that so many people only knew this Ben, and that is the Ben they loved so dearly with all of their hearts, because despite his troubles, during that time he still made everyone’s happiness his number one priority. I understand that many are remembering him in the only way they knew him, which might be through consumption of alcohol and partying. But I would urge everyone to listen to those who knew him best, and honor the brightest parts of his life which were his love for cycling, music, community, friends, bringing joy to everyone’s life, and the brilliance of his amazing and creative mind. Please keep in mind that his drinking was one of the darkest parts of his life, and he struggled very hard during his last few years. I am absolutely certain that it was the hardest time in his life, but also strangely, in some ways, the happiest, because it was when he felt most loved. He was so very conflicted. So If you feel so compelled to drink in his honor, please try to remember this. Show him that he had your love with or without the alcohol. Please harness that energy for celebration and do good in his memory. If you feel compelled to do anything, please let it be donating to mental health and addiction research, so that others might have the opportunity to receive the help that he felt he couldn’t accept. Check in with those you hold dear, no matter how outwardly fine they seem. For Ben.[/quote]
Such eloquence, and incredibly fitting, as today is World Suicide Prevention Day.
Thanks for sharing that. I’m not on facespace.
The timeliness of all of it did hit me, too as I had found out it would be National Suicide Prevention Week a day after learning about Ben.
That was heartbreaking to read.
yeah. having lots of feelings.
Damn… was afraid of the bad news when I saw this thread stickied. Thanks for that, though. Regretfully never met him, but still missing him. Rest in peace, Ben.
Edited to add obituary.
He went out of his way a few years ago to meet me for a beer. Very genuine and great guy. Sorry to hear this bad news.
I didn’t know Ben irl, or online, but, I’ve lost close ones through similar circumstances, so my heart breaks reading this all the same. My deepest condolences to his friends and family.
.
I never knew Ben other than on here, but this is extremely sad to hear. Losing a childhood friend a month ago and now someone my age, again, dying needlessly has me in a weird space.
Life is short friends. Tell your people you love 'em every chance you get.
I’d like to add myself to the “PM me if you need to talk” list. I don’t care what time you might think it is wherever I am, I’ll answer and listen. (zero zero four six, seven three six, four eight seven, nine one zero).
Hey everybody. It’s Micah. Ben got me out of tarck retirement.
Some of you know that he and I were friends in Minneapolis. We ran in very similar circles. He and I were close.
This hurts. It’s been intensely hard over the past month.
This is where Ben and I initially met. So I wanted to reach out to the rest of yall.
I just want to say two things. Two things I’m not great at, so I’m telling myself too:
Be good to yourself and aware of your own pain and darkness
Be good to each other and aware of others’ pain and darkness
That’s all.
I’m sorry for our loss.