Get Fast Now (updated OP with seriousness)

Tarckives Bikes
21

[quote=Sandbagbear]1.) Don’t ride everyday
3.) Sleep 10 hours a night with a 1-2 hour nap in the middle of the day
4.) Don’t drink alcohol, coffee or consume other stimulants that drain energy
5.) Climb hills instead of riding flat
6.) Have relationship issues
7.) Choose to be a loner, because to be the best you have to be alone, so start getting used to it.
8.) Live with/be friends with other committed athletes.
9.) Eat Veggies and Burritos
10.) Respect your current ability and gently meet your limits one day a week.
11.) The bulk of your miles probably only need to be at 80% of your ability
I’m planning to actually contribute to this thread, but I’m too tired to write what I mean, and DO want to get the discussion started.[/quote]

12.) Read Bicycling magazine.

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  1. Buy everything from Competitive Cyclist.
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  1. white bar tape
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[quote=Rusty Piton]It’s true. I ride every day and I’m slow as hell.
I think the bulk of my riding is at like 40% of my ability.
Chillin’ brah.

Also,

[quote=Elderberry]^DRAMA!!!

I get 4-6 hrs of sleep a night, drink at least 6-8 cups of coffee a day, smoke a bit, and enjoy whiskey pretty often.

Is #2 “It’s all mental, so none of this actually matters”? Coz I feel fast and that’s all that matters.[/quote]
a dude I could most certainly kick it/ride with.[/quote]
Likewise, buddy.

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[quote=tarckeemoon]

12.) Read Bicycling magazine.[/quote]

No.

12.) Read Chris Charmichael’s “Ultimate Ride,” take it to heart and put it on a shelf where you will forget about it.

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Read Dirtrag and drink beer.

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2.) Suffer.

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  1. relax. there’s more to life than winning meaningless races.
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  1. Buy a carbon bike and full US Postal kit.
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[quote=Sandbagbear][quote=tarckeemoon]

12.) Read Bicycling magazine.[/quote]

No.

12.) Read Chris Charmichael’s “Ultimate Ride,” take it to heart and put it on a shelf where you will forget about it.[/quote]

You know I was joking, right?

31

I’ve found a ratio of about 1 gram of pot per 1,000 feet of climbing to be ideal.

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ftfy

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You must be really fucking stoned by the end of a ride!

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You must be really fucking stoned by the end of a ride![/quote]

Well, he only climbs like 10 feet on a given ride.

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What kind of advice is this?

Revised 4) Don’t drink triple shot espressos on a daily basis to the point where you’ve burned out your adrenals… drink them on race days/interval days and save the green tea for everything else.

Best advice in thread.

37

I wish some of my teammates could get this.

38

1)Ride with fast people.
2)Ride like them.
3)Profit.

39

I would also disagree with Jake on a few points but I don’t see the point… I don’t think he was entirely serious with this list. Feel free to take this as serious as you’d like guys.

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Bump.