Succumbing to the Dark Side: Jackasses Are Making Me Crazy

Tarckives Bikes
1

I spent a good amount of this holiday weekend on my bike. I did a 70 mile ride on Saturday and some round-town stuff today. I don’t know if it’s the holiday weekend or whatever, but the jackass ratio was through the friggin’ roof. It’s enough that I am now starting to understand the near-rabid hatred that hardcore cyclists can have for cagers and the world in general. I’m feeling the call of the Dark Side, in other words, and I hate it. I’m a happy, nice guy with a good life… I don’t want to be a stereotypical angry cyclist nutjob. But I’m being driven (literally) to it…

Saturday started off nice enough, did a new route from Ventura over to Santa Paula, then up to Ojai and returning to Santa Barbara (got a ride down there from a friend who would be driving back). Things went well enough overall until I parted ways with my riding partners at Ojai, where I’d be returning solo to Santa Barbara. On the long fast downhill descent from the Casitas Pass, I was tailgated by some maniac in a red pickup truck who then proceeded to pass me as we both headed into a blind corner. The car behind him honked for such suicidal insanity and of course I was freaked out… there’d have been no way for me to avoid being involved in the collision or being taken out as he swerved to avoid oncoming traffic.

I fumed over that for a good 15 miles (helped me ignore the 15mph headwind), then as I was on another downhill section coming into Summerland, a large silver Chevy pickup pulled out of a store’s driveway right in front of me. I was able to brake in time, but was pissed. The guy clearly wasn’t paying any attention. I got up alongside and told him to roll down his window.

Me: “Do you realize you pulled out right in front of me when you came out of Cantwell’s?”

Him (chatting on cellphone): “Uh, no…?”

Me: “Ah, didn’t see me, huh?”

Him (getting annoyed at being called out): “No…”

He tries to speed up and blow me off, but he’s stuck in traffic coming up to a stop sign.

Me (loudly as he’s trying to pull away): “Maybe you should HANG UP AND DRIVE!!!”

I admit it, I lost it. I felt like shit after saying it because I’m sure he just blew it off as some “asshole cyclist” who should just grow up and drive a Chevy Silverado like a real man. Whatever.

Anyways, few miles after that, I’m back in Santa Barbara, in a bike lane and just a few miles away from my final destination. Come up on a man & woman couple, recreational riders who were clearly not particularly experienced, though they were both on road bikes. Just as I start to pass them on the left they both turn left. Back on the brakes. It was getting so routine now… the girl said “Sorry!” and I just replied “Might want to signal next time.”

This evening, after a nice day out with the boys in the kiddie trailer, I’m riding home with my wife up State Street and some goofball waiting at the bus stop says “You know how to gig? Apparently Not… Later Mandell” I just ignored him… but fuck, I mean come on, if you want to talk shit and/or pick a fight, don’t do it with the guy pulling the kiddie trailer. I don’t have time for that shit, got diapers to change.

So it was a full weekend of jackassery on the high seas. I felt like I took one long step closer to becoming one of those cyclists who snaps one day, lifts his bike up over his head and charges a car. Sweet jesus, help me turn the other cheek!!

2

I had a really good weekend with traffic and whatnot. It’s not all bad.

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I know how you feel dude. I also feel that sometimes the benefit of carrying a u-lock on a road ride is well worth the weight penalty.

4

I frequently scream at people who do stupid shit.
I also regularly tap or slap people’s cars to make a loud noise and wake them the fuck up.

5

I don’t think you acted crazy and actually handled yourself as you should have. You didn’t fly off the handle or anything and were just trying to assert yourself. There’s always going to be stupid people around. Just try to shake it off (which I know is hard when someone endangers your life). At least for me the good times and the fun I have on my bike is totes worth dealing with the occasional nonsense.

6

carbon soled shoes make a good impression on headlights :bear: :colbert:

7

I hate that powerless feelingthat leads to getting pissed off and losing it as you described.
just wall up and don’t let people like this bother you. thats what I do and it seems to work well.

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So, I’m riding to work this morning down Fruitvale avenue in Oakland. It’s a 2-lane slight downhill that you can do ~20mph on really easily. Usually, I’m passing most traffic. A couple of young guys in a scraper car came up behind me and honked at me. Normally, folks in my neighborhood ride on the sidewalk, but in this case, I was moving faster than traffic. I had the whole lane, but I was waiting for the car in front of me. They impatiently went around me and squeezed me out of the way. I yelled and chased them down the intention of dragging them out of their car and committing violence against them. It seems they noticed as they went into the oncoming traffic lane to get around a bunch of cars and get away from me. You can now be amused at the image of an irate, lycra-clad white guy on a bicycle chasing down a couple of young, gangbanger-looking black guys in a scraper car in the Oakland ghetto.

A bit later, a dude in an Escalade in the oncoming lane nearly ran me over making a left turn. I yelled at him and he looked at me threateningly. I seriously considered throwing my bike at his Escalade and dragging him out if possible, but he could have easily run me over. A few blocks later, I realized that I’d not had any nicotine gum today, stopped and then had some. The world is a better place now.

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When cars do dangerous things around me, I give them a good shout. If they look apologetic, I tell them politely to be more careful next time. If they give me the “what are you doing on the road in my way,” look, I lay into them. Especially if they are on their cell phones, which is illegal in DC.

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[quote=halbritt]So, I’m riding to work this morning down Fruitvale avenue in Oakland. It’s a 2-lane slight downhill that you can do ~20mph on really easily. Usually, I’m passing most traffic. A couple of young guys in a scraper car came up behind me and honked at me. Normally, folks in my neighborhood ride on the sidewalk, but in this case, I was moving faster than traffic. I had the whole lane, but I was waiting for the car in front of me. They impatiently went around me and squeezed me out of the way. I yelled and chased them down the intention of dragging them out of their car and committing violence against them. It seems they noticed as they went into the oncoming traffic lane to get around a bunch of cars and get away from me. You can now be amused at the image of an irate, lycra-clad white guy on a bicycle chasing down a couple of young, gangbanger-looking black guys in a scraper car in the Oakland ghetto.

A bit later, a dude in an Escalade in the oncoming lane nearly ran me over making a left turn. I yelled at him and he looked at me threateningly. I seriously considered throwing my bike at his Escalade and dragging him out if possible, but he could have easily run me over. A few blocks later, I realized that I’d not had any nicotine gum today, stopped and then had some. The world is a better place now.[/quote]

That’s the only reason I have yet to ride through Oakland. I’m scared that some hyphy kid in his donked out box is tryna do some hoodrat stuff with their friend. I would rather ride through Bayview/HP any day. At least the people there are respectful.

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I read the title as “Succumbing to the Dark Side: Japaneses Are Making Me Crazy”

I was ready to lay down some banhammer.

12

That’s the first time anything like that has ever happened to me in Oakland. I’ve gotten a few honks, but never any silly or aggressive driving.

13

i was riding street downtown saturday and some guy was either trying to run a red light or terrible at braking when i was pedaling through an intersection. normally my problems are only lights changing too soon when i’m bombing a hill and having fun.

14

damn, dude. Last time I was in Santa Barbara, I was riding around, met a chick on a rented mountain bike and ended up fucking in the back of her SUV. So, completely different experience for me. :bear:

But about you trying to pass inexperienced cyclists on the left. I ALWAYS give a good “On your left!” shout out if I’m passing slow cyclists. Give them a couple seconds of time to think about not being a dumbass. There’s not many people I trust less than inexperienced cyclists.

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[quote=halbritt]So, I’m riding to work this morning down Fruitvale avenue in Oakland. It’s a 2-lane slight downhill that you can do ~20mph on really easily. Usually, I’m passing most traffic. A couple of young guys in a scraper car came up behind me and honked at me. Normally, folks in my neighborhood ride on the sidewalk, but in this case, I was moving faster than traffic. I had the whole lane, but I was waiting for the car in front of me. They impatiently went around me and squeezed me out of the way. I yelled and chased them down the intention of dragging them out of their car and committing violence against them. It seems they noticed as they went into the oncoming traffic lane to get around a bunch of cars and get away from me. You can now be amused at the image of an irate, lycra-clad white guy on a bicycle chasing down a couple of young, gangbanger-looking black guys in a scraper car in the Oakland ghetto.

A bit later, a dude in an Escalade in the oncoming lane nearly ran me over making a left turn. I yelled at him and he looked at me threateningly. I seriously considered throwing my bike at his Escalade and dragging him out if possible, but he could have easily run me over. A few blocks later, I realized that I’d not had any nicotine gum today, stopped and then had some. The world is a better place now.[/quote]
pussy ass bitches.

16

I rode through this intersection, staying in the right lane and some dude turned onto the street I was on, almost came into my lane, saw me at the last second and proceeded to honk and yell that I should get off the road etc… So retarded.

I am blue, he is red.

driver.jpg600×600

17

scooters/motorcycles cut you off a lot in taiwan. but what was funny today is that i shout out fuckin bitch! and the lady actually turned around giving me the evil eye. Didn’t expect her to understand English. lol.

18

lolcagers.

19

I really think I could write a novel on the many idiot encounters I have on a daily basis.

Most times I don’t have the energy to yell.

Yesterday a taxi wasn’t giving me much room while he was on my right. I banged his window, he slowed down and laid on the horn. I got in fornt of him and rode real slow shrugging my shoulders and shaking my head. I wasn’t paying attention to the light otherwise I would have stayed in front so he would get caught at the light.

This happens probably 5 times a day.

I like fucking with drivers. I’m greatly looking forward to the day some idiot gets out of their car. I’ve got some anger issues from when I was like 12 and fat that I’d love to let out on someones face.

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i like scaring people who would have doored me if i hadn’t seen it coming. a good “YOOOOO” right as they put a foot onto the pavement gives them a good jump. once got this valet so good he screamed