Stupid things you did thread.
I’ll start.
Once upon a time, I tried using automotive fix-a-flat to see if I could use that to do tubeless.
Not only did it not work - the funk it produced was unbelievable. It completely ruined a pair of brand new very expensive SuperMotos and I had to air out my apartment for better than a week. Though the apartment smell eventually cleared, the tires were completely fucked. The smell would not come out no matter what. Anything they touched invariably inherited that toxic dead-cat-in-a-dead-refrigerator-for-a-month smell.
Used a vise as a bike stand. My commuter planes bigly as a result.
I took the brakes off of my matte black fixie and rode it after dark without any lights on it. Got left hooked less than a week later.
Middle of winter 5th ave NY pre bike lanes, stopped fully clipped in at a stoplight, decided to hold myself up by hooking my right hand on a street sign, slipped, full body slam into a 6" deep slush puddle in front of hundreds of tourists.
I asked a forum full of bike nerds for a good 26" monstercross tire.
Turns out any fucking 26" mtb tire is a good 26" monstercross tire.
Oh, my contribution to this thread will be grand. Fear fucking not.
Berkeley, California, mid 2000’s. Rolling downhill on Bancroft, light at Telegraph turns red. I roll into what I expected to be an elegant trackstand, the kind that’s maintained with naught but the occasional flick of a wrist or turn of a heel. Instead, I catch a crack in the pavement and do one of those slow motion falls during which you go through the entire cycle of fear, bargaining, anger, depression, and acceptance before your hip smacks the ground. As it was a gentle downhill, it was just that tiny bit harder to untangle from my bike and stand back up, giving the thousands of college kids milling through the intersection more time to watch the big clowny-man try to aright himself. Flustered, I tried to think of something cool to say, but my embarrassed and over-adrenalined brain decided I should blurt out “Huhhhh stay in school, kids!”. The light took another thirty seconds to turn green.
building my first “nice” fixie, like 2004 ish, finished installing and adjusting everything late one night, was in a hurry to test ride, screwed the pedals in by hand and tried to ride around the block, like 100 feet later ds pedal stripped out the crankarm.
working as a bike messenger for 5 winters
deciding to make a go at the bike industry as a “career” choice
not sure what was dumbest.
Put my wife’s bike together and forgot to tighten the stem to the steerer after getting everything lined up. Fortunately the ride started with a mild uphill and my wife still has all of her teeth.
After I got my sweet fixie conversion and went to college for the first time and I thought I was a track stand God.
Not bike related, but too good not to share.
As a newly minted teenage driver I took a delivery job for the local pizza guy who had two locations. One busy day I had to bring a 5 gallon pail of pizza sauce from one to the other. Entering the parking lot of my destination I approached it at an angle just so that the car wobbled side to side throwing the pail around and spilling the whole thing in the back of my wagon. Car never smelled the same after that.
Got into bikes and bought a $300 mongoose “full suspension mountain bike”
This one to be exact.
Thought I was a badass motherfucker too. Thought I was king of the streets. I remember the dangler broke and I singlespeeded it. Then I put a red tire on the front because that’s cool right?
About 1.5 years later after I realized what a terrible mistake I made, I bought my streamroller (which is still my most-ridden bike to this day.) The first ride on that bike felt like I was in a formula one car after pedaling that 50lb mongoose around for so long. I ended up giving it to a homeless guy.
I recall riding a Spalding brand bike around town with the stem so high you could see the expander wedge peeking out. I didn’t know what it was or why you shouldn’t see it.
Buying a Chris king headset that was “slightly oversized” to “fix” an “ovalized headtube” on my RB-1 on the recommendation of my “friendly” local bike shop.
Selling my all-original '82 stumpjumper for $60 to make rent, which was $360 a month at the time.
fuck
First time I ever bought a set of tires I got home and opened the package to only find a single tire inside.
I said to myself “who the fuck would pay $50 for a single tire”?
I went back to the bike shop the next day to ask why they sell single tires.
So embarrassing
^ - That’s the first one that gave me lulz.
Once, I spent an entire day trying to get an Armadillo on a rim. After 5 broken pedros levers, half a bottle of Bike Lust, and a few bloody knuckles… I realized that I accidentally ordered a 27 inch rim. Worst part is that I actually got it on and rode it to the store that night for booze.
[quote=kmcdon]Got into bikes and bought a $300 mongoose “full suspension mountain bike”
This one to be exact.
Thought I was a badass motherfucker too. Thought I was king of the streets. I remember the dangler broke and I singlespeeded it. Then I put a red tire on the front because that’s cool right?
About 1.5 years later after I realized what a terrible mistake I made, I bought my streamroller (which is still my most-ridden bike to this day.) The first ride on that bike felt like I was in a formula one car after pedaling that 50lb mongoose around for so long. I ended up giving it to a homeless guy.[/quote]
i thought this was gonna end with you trying to jump over some of your buddies on that sw8 mtb and you crashing and getting testicular torsion