Fuuuuuck
That one hit close to home.
Don’t think I’ve said anything like that recently, but definitely going to check myself next time I’m thinking it.
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I mean, yea, but most bike forums/pages are filled with shithead dudes
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Jay Cheatervary
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MFW a friend of mine is defending Jay: 
(please refer to my 3d avatar)
I get what you mean here, but thinking about this I’m not sure if I agree… and full disclosure, I don’t mean to talk for anyone else’s experiences or anything here, I’m a cis white male and don’t have to deal with any of this shit. But If anything, @theKearney is right- women on the internet just get more shit when they tell folks to fuck off. Plus, why should Lael have to do all this extra social/emotional labor (in addition to the extra labor she and the film crue were already doing) while also preparing for one of the biggest/hardest races of her life? Seems pretty unfair to expect her to also have to respond to the haters in the leadup to the event when the steps they took were already approved by the race organizer.
Regardless, it’s always better to ignore haters. Any response is validation. This is a very important lesson I learned doing clinic escorts at Planned Parenthood; the absolute most invalidating and morale-destroying thing you can do is act like the protesters just don’t exist (so long as they’re staying behind their line, not accosting ppl etc). These folks were desperate for the validation of a response on the matter and Lael didn’t even give them the pleasure of letting them feel like she was having to be defensive, which is honestly the most powerful of power moves imo.
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Did yawll miss the “Ban Bossy” thing a few years ago (and the conservative backlash)?
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Huh, actually yeah this is the first I’ve heard of it.
Also in the boat with Kyle re: I don’t believe I’ve used that term in the recent past, but I’m sure more aware now of it from here on out.
I’ve been raising a daughter for the last 3 years and try really hard to use appropriate language.
Yes, she is super cute and pretty, but I try to mostly use language that praises her for things other than looks. Her shoes “I bet you can run really fast and jump high”. Her princess dress is “fancy and good for dancing”, etc.
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Yes, and also praising them for trying hard, not for being clever. Not gender related of course. Also, I also never say good luck, I say, do your best. It’s not luck if you do well in an exam or event, its prep.
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I don’t think I’ve called an adult bossy. Usually small toddlers and other various shitty small kids.
Gonna have to make sure it stays that way now though, I can’t think of any dudes described as bossy before but lots of ladies getting that.
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it’s used a lot in my family, because the people are very… assertive (and i like it). so i feel like i am an ideal test case.
side note, has anyone ever used Milquetoast to describe a woman?
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or “wimpy” or any of the synonyms that belittle a man for being not masculine or macho enough
Are you ok, dude?
I feel like you’re much more aggressively smug than you used to be.
Yea, I don’t think engaging with Jayjay’s tantrum would have looked good for Lael even if Lael was Larry - you’ve got it right about validating them, and if it devolves into a “A said B said” then people can dismiss it as bickering between two (equally at fault) parties, whereas letting someone tantrum in a corner w/out acknowledging them often makes them look really dumb/bad.
I often think about this when I see younger lefties helping right wing youtubers make viral content for their channels. Aging, and the corresponding increase in my treachery and slyness spec points, has at least let me understand the power of letting someone make a fool of themselves…even if I can’t always control the urge to tell them off. Fuck I’m so glad that smart phones and social media didn’t exist when I was 20.
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Qft. It’s gonna be really hard to help my future teenagers with the “but they’re wrong” vs “better to let someone think you an idiot than say something and prove it”.
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Yeah, even if there was a camera around at a party you still had to wait to get it developed, then there was only one copy which a couple of people would have a laugh at then forget about in an old shoe box somewhere. I just found a few old shoe boxes full of such photos, think I’ll put them on social media.
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It’s true and I’m going to really encourage my kids to stay off social media and use aliases always.
I wonder frequently how children born today are going to feel about having their entire childhood uploaded to a giant corporation’s mostly public archive, without having ever having given consent
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I’m very much trying to make sure that the giant corporate archive all the photos go to is private rather than social media. My 5 y.o. says no for photos almost always.
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