I have two other sram cranksets laying around. I figured if I could remove the retaining ring I could pull their self-extracting bolt and use it on the fucked set. I tried my little wrench combo on them and was just marring the surface, not getting any purchase or any chance of removing the retaining ring.
I tried pb blaster on the stuck set. I tried heat to break the green loctite on the still-intact retaining rings on the other cranksets. Nothing.
But on the plus side I think this means this crankset is actually still good with the purchase of a new $10 self extracting bolt. And I’m hella broke right now so an extra Red crankset laying around is pretty choice.